I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
