Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
