i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
