she was so not down for the gang bang
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
