i think my mom watched the whole time
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
