She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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