People in love make me want to vomit
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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