In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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