hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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