Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How external is "for external use only"?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
