I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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