he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize