Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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