Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
