woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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