don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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