Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
