All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
