She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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