I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
