And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
