dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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