i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize