So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
