swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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