If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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