yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
