Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
