But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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