Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
