the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My vagina is officially offended.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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