I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Then you guys just all showered together...?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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