Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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