Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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