Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
