I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
