We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
