i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
