i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
