I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize