somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
