i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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