just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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