It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
