i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
