i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
please come you make the beer taste better
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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