I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she pinky promised me she was 18
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize