That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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