I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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