i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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