we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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