I wanna bring you to show and tell
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
