OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
