it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
