She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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