No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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