I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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