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At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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