I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
